She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
