How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
PANTIES FOUND
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