I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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