Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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