I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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