I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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