She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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