So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
he fucked my hip out of place.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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