Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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