Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
