I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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