a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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