If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
She bit a glass in half.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
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