I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
