been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Randomize
