And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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