butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
My ass is underappreciated
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
