is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
