U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
