Are we in a gay sports bar?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
