But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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