id be glad to
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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