When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Found your dick twin last night
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
