NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
