Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
