The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
