Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
