I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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