i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Randomize
