come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
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