Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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