Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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