$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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