you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
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