Your mouth is God's brothel.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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