Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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