Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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