I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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