I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
She told me I should be a condom model.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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