There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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