dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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