Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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