i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
