So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
