DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
