why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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