Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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