new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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