Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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