I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Randomize
