new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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