at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
