just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
