So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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