did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
