Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
