Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
