Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
