I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
