My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
We just shotgunned beers for America
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
