its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
