For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
