I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
