True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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