if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
if only i could text you this smell
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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